Fleetmack.com - Farewell to Bennigans

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"Never live to work. Work to Live!" --Martin from Zermatt

Farewell to Bennigans
07-30-2008
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Bennigans has always been a dump. I ate there in Cedar Rapids in 2000 while I was traveling for work, I'll never forget it. I could walk you the table at which I sat. I remember seeing the "Monte Cristo" on the menu and thinking it looked delicious. A deep fried sandwich, how could you go wrong. Once my order arrived, covered in powdered sugar, I almost invented a way to regurgitate a meal before consuming it. I managed two bites before I called it quits and left. To this day, the mere thought of Bennigans takes me back to that moment and almost makes me puke. I cannot drive by one of these restaurants without getting the taste of that sandwich in my mouth. It takes no limb for me to go on to state that the only thing more disgusting I have eaten are the pickled turkey gizzards we bought at a random bar on RAGBRAI last week simply to try them.

When I moved to Colorado around the time of September 11th, I was working at Old Chicago. After my first night of training, my trainer Toni invited me to sit at the bar and have a beer. We had to take our Old Chicago shirts off, and underneath I had on a Slipknot shirt which displayed the words "Cut your throat and keep walking" across the back with blood running down the letters. Josh joined our table, and before I could even take my first sip, some tool walks up and shoves me in the back and says, "What's up tough guy?! You think you're tough or something?!" I was still not a happy person at this point in my life and gladly welcomed fights. I stood up and went toe-to-toe with him asking what his problem was before Toni shoved me back and said, "You work here, you cannot be doing this!" I understood and sat down, and the guy went back to the pool tables. From over there, I hear him badgering me over and over, "Tough guy over there with his tough t-shirt but too big of a pussy to do anything about it. Pussy tough guy." I'm immediately questioning why I moved to Colorado if it is filled with dickheads like this. For the record, the guy was significantly bigger than me, both taller and strength wise. Eventually I couldn't take it and Toni and Josh saw me steaming. They got a manager and the guy got thrown out (and I believe he got banned for threatening employees, but I can't remember). I created a mental image of this Steven Segal wannabe and etched it in my brain.

There was a Bennigans opening up by Flatirons Mall and my roommate Gina was going to be working there. She presented Katie, Kelly and I with some free voucher things to go in for training night. We were given sample menus and were told we had to order items from these menus and any drinks we wanted (our bill would be comped). We were given specific questions to ask the servers in order to give the managers a feel for how the servers would respond. Luck was in my favor this night. I walk in the door and who do I see working there but Mr. Tough Guy from Old Chicago, who was obviously on his first day of his job as well. Poetic justice, my friends. Poetic.Fucking.Justice.

I longed for him to be my server with the manager in tow. I would egg him on to no end and find a way to anger him to the point where he flipped out and lost his job. Here is where the stars were not in line, he wasn't a server, he was a host. This guy, over the age of 21, working as a host at Bennigans! He says (not knowing who I am), "How many of you tonight?" I reply with, "Well, these 2 girls and this 'tough guy'." His face lights up (perhaps "dims up" is a better word) as he recognizes me. He takes us to our seats, manager in front of him the whole way, with me whispering to him, "You are a fucking host? What a fucking pussy. At least I am a server with a college degree and you are a fucking Bennigans host. What a fucking pussy. Pussy." All the while, I'm nudging him in his back. He seats us, and when he asks if he can get us something to drink I ask, "Hey tough guy, can I just get drunk as shit and start a fight with you here tonight like you tried doing in Old Chicago the other night before they kicked you out?"

He walked away. I smiled. Bennigans went bankrupt today and closed all its stores. And such was another reason for me to be happy.

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