Fleetmack.com - The only thing I ever really hated, was hate

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"My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself." --Emo Philips

The only thing I ever really hated, was hate
by Bryan Mack
10-31-04

Just to get this out of the way, yeah - I kind twisted a Slipknot lyric for the title of this, in case you haven't heard - I'm kind of partial to that band. The way I twisted it completely changes the meaning, whatever. And secondly, I realize this doesn't really fit in with the motif of this section of my site, but there was nowhere better to put it.

Pessimism: After thinking long and hard about it, that is truly the only thing in the world I hate. You may find I've written about hating a lot of other things - but I'm changing my mind right now. (Just call me John Kerry :o) - see, it's ok to change your mind!) I thought there were a few people I hate, that's not true. I thought there were actors and musicians I hate, also not true - that's just my difference in taste. Certain politicians, cars, sports, places - I don't hate any of these. The only thing I hate is a bad attitude.

I never realized until recently how great of an asset a positive attitude is. I used to be such a negative person, always looking at the bad things that happen instead of focusing on what I have. As Ron Livingston (a fellow Iowa native) said in Swingers, "Your problem is you don't look at the things you have, you look at the things you don't have." I know I've quoted that same line a few other times on this site somewhere, but it's got so much truth to it.

Flashback to a view of myself a mere two or three years ago. I could list several thousand examples of me being upset at God and my life. Go read my news archive from back in March of 2002 when I was supposed to go on a trip to Kansas City. The flights were cancelled due to weather and I was insanely upset. Weeks went by and all I did was sit around and be upset that I didn't get to go on that trip. I wanted to blow up the headquarters of (now bankrupt) Vanguard Airlines. Three years ago I had so much hate for Ford trucks that I wouldn't even drive behind one. Sounds stupid doesn't it? Go look at my "my mind" (aka "rants") page and check out the dates on everything I've ranted about. I haven't written much on that page lately because I just don't let things bother me any more, that's no way to live life.

My patience and my attitude have changed me into a very easy-going and positive person. It's kind of funny how, in my eyes, I see that my attitude turned from negative to positive about the exact second I let God back into my life. I know I am very blessed, and I give thanks for that each and every night. I see some of my friends and things they get upset at and it blows my mind how they can let so much anger build up inside them. Don't get me wrong - I still get upset and mad at things, but I don't let them interfere with my life the way I used to. If I'm upset with something or someone - I fix that problem. I don't ignore it, I try to turn it into a positive thing.

There was a person I didn't care for over the duration of a couple years. I let my anger build up inside me, and not until about 2 weeks ago did I realize how stupid and immature of me it was. Instead of seeking an apology, I wanted to apologize to him for feeling that way. Luckily I was able to mend that relationship and it felt awesome to do so. Ridding anger from your life and turning it into a good thing is truly wonderful. I really need to give credit to two of my friends as they unknowingly inspired me to feel this way. One of my friends won't even use the word "hate". How cool is that? Why wouldn't everyone want to be around a guy with that kind of positive energy?

I've had a lot of car problems recently. Did I bite the bullet and get upset? No, I fixed it and realized that I could have had problems in a worse time and place and I was lucky to have these problems in such a great setting. However, 2 years ago when I got my windows smashed out and everything in my car got stolen, I was upset and I let it ruin my week. I bitched and moaned about it for way too long. Funny thing is, if it happened again tomorrow, I'd be upset, but think, "Huh, shit happens." The next thing I would do is turn on the news and hear a story about how somebody's son or daughter was killed in Iraq. Or I'd hear about how some guy murdered his wife and dumped her in a landfill. Or I'd hear about people who can't afford to pay their rent. Or I'd think about my ex-girlfriend sitting in a jail cell for the next 5+ years. So what if somebody smashed a window in my car. I have a good job, I can afford a window. I should be so lucky that the worst thing that happens to me is that my Seahawks lose a game where they had a 17 point lead with 6 minutes to go. Do you want to know something? I AM that lucky.

I've written things about giving thanks to God for everything, I still couldn't agree more with that. But I'm suddenly seeing that attitude is everything. I don't like being around people with negative attitudes. I don't like listening to people bitch about everything bad in their life. I want to be around happy people. I want to be around people who laugh when they wreck their car. I want to be around people who tell jokes and talk about the good times at a funeral. I want to be around happy people.

People need God in their life. God gives you hope. Hope gives you reason to set goals. Goals give you something to work for no matter what gets in your way. When you focus on your goals, you ignore the negative things that get in your way as your only concern is doing whatever it takes to meet your goal. So what if I tear a muscle. So what if I lose my best running shoes. So what if all the treadmills in the gym are taken that day. I'll heal. I can buy new shoes. I can run outside or at a later time. Do I give up when something gets in my way? Hell no - I'm still going to run a 45 minute 10K and I'm going to finish a half-marathon in January in 2 hours. A positive attitude.

Applying this to only my running would be stupid, I need to apply it to my overall goal in life: To remain a happy person with a positive attitude for the remainder of my life. There are so many things I could allow to alter my attitude. But I keep my head up, and will try my hardest to continue to do so. I'm sure there'll be setbacks, there always is, but I just want to keep moving forward. No matter if we're talking about death of loved ones, financial issues, losing a job or moving across the country - I'm going to find the good in anything.

As cliché as it may sound, does everything happen for a reason? It seems blatantly obvious to me that it does. I have recently taken everything that I have been upset about in my life and found something good that came out of it. Broken relationships, friends' deaths, and all sorts of other problems; they all have something good that came from them. Sometimes the good things are things that directly affect me, other times it helps other people. Sometimes it's just the simple fact that I learned a lesson. My only problem is getting other people to see things this way - but that's really not a problem as much as it is a minor setback.

Sometimes, specifically in my case that happened about 2 years ago, you have to hit rock bottom before you can see up. Because once you reach the bottom there is nowhere else to go. Everything crashed down on me at once two years ago. In a few months time, all my roommates left Colorado, I was sick for 2 weeks with pneumonia, my girlfriend dumped me and married someone else, I had severe problems moving, and was financially screwed with debt piling up -- man that all piled up. I sat there and realized I had 2 choices, I could sit there and take it and be miserable, or I could ask God for help and start changing the way I look at things and allow God to heal me. Thankfully I chose the second and none of those things are a problem any more. Instead of me having an article bashing my apartment complex that was a #1 hit on google when you typed the complex's name, I turned it into an ad for the complex to hopefully attract people here and make me some money. That's a little better than making everyone think negative thoughts isn't it? :o)

I don't want George Bush to win the election this week. Do I think he will? Yes. For the purpose of this paragraph, let's assume he wins. Now what am I going to do for the next four years? I'm going to support him. Where as I've spent the past four years complaining about him, I won't do that again. I may not like anything about him - but I can even find something positive in that. This would be his last term of office, so only four years left. He's already in office, and unless he gets impeached (which I won't have anything to do with), he's here to stay. So instead of bitching about something I have no control over for the next four years, I'm going to accept it and look forward to the future.

To end this babble, I'm going to tell you why I wrote this article. I was sitting here thinking about my life recently. I was thinking how everything has been going great for me for a long time. The impression I was trying to sell myself was that a whole barrage of bad things was shortly going to occur to balance out my streak of good luck. As I continued to think about this, I started to remember a bad thing here and and a bad thing there. Suddenly I realized that I've probably had just as many bad seeds thrown at me recently as I've had good ones. Everything bad that has happened to me lately I haven't let bother me. I realized that I, Bryan Mack, the man notorious for having a bad attitude and getting upset very easily at things - had, in fact, converted to an incredibly strong optimist. Setbacks will always occur and there's nothing to do to stop them, but hate and negativity are the only thing that gives these setbacks the power to control your life. Take away your bad attitude, and the problems have nothing to power them and keep them in your life. My advice to you if you are a pessimist: Change as quickly as you can, because life is way to short to live it unhappily.