Fleetmack.com - May 2008 News

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"It! Is! Just! A! Couch! This isn't life, it's just stuff. And it's become more important to you than living. Well, honey, that's just nuts." --Lester on American Beauty

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May 2008 News Archives

May 01 May 05 May 07 May 09 May 12 May 20 May 23 May 29 May 30

What I am listening to as I type this: nothing

May 30, 2008

Do you ever have one of those days where one thought is in your head, whether good or bad, and it's literally all you can think about? It sits in your stomach and you can think of nothing else. You cannot function. No matter how hard you try and concentrate on any one thing, your brain will only let you go back to that one thought. It consumes your every action and it bothers you to no avail that it's all your brain can process. That is what my mind has been like the past two days. I have tried everything and this thought will not disappear. In my case, this is a very bad thought. I'm trying to take the Slipknot approach (I won't let this build up inside me!) but it certainly is not working. How do I get rid of this thought? It's not even an imaginary thing, it's something real (that I won't talk about). During softball last night it consumed me. I went out with Eve last night and it was all I could think of. This morning I drove home from Louisville and it's the only thing on my mind. And now, as I sit here at work, it is eating me up from the inside. My stomach is in knots and it's taking my every effort to not go into the bathroom and throw up. It's weird because I'm not really sad or upset, but I'm extremely bothered. It's like, well, something just isn't right (understatement). I have a feeling that the weird feeling I was having last month that wouldn't go away, well, that feeling is a direct relation to this. I'm positive of it.

Holy hell I don't like it when I don't understand something. This is bugging the living shit out of me. I might need to get out of the office for the rest of the day and go sit in my room and write. In case you don't know, that's what I do when I'm upset -- I write.

Amazing how one insignificant thing that you cannot change makes you think your life is going in the complete wrong direction. I hate this feeling.

What I am listening to as I type this: Killswitch Engage - Inhale

May 29, 2008

I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused. I am confused.

What I am listening to as I type this: Toadies - Possum Kingdom

May 23, 2008

We got slaughtered last night in softball, I certainly didn't help the cause. We got beat like 23-0 in 3 innings. Embarrassing. I went 1-2 at the plate, got picked off at first base when the guy made a nice catch on a line-drive and I couldn't tag-up, and I made about 3 errors at third base. I (gladly!) was demoted to catcher after 2 innings of awfulness at 3rd base. I felt like I had never played before. The only solace was that everyone else played equally bad. It was just awful. Normally I beg the ball to come to me so I can make a rockstar play. By the end of the second inning, my internal voice sounded like Adam Sandler on that one track of his, "Oh please, please, please do not hit it to me. Do not hit it to me, PLEASE!!" Then you'd hear the *ping* and the ball would come right to me, again. Just an awful performance. I shall bounce back, mark my words.

I'm again in a weird mood today. Things are buzzing in my head like crazy lately. I think I need to shake everything up in my life soon, like a bucket of paint. I have no idea what, but something big has to happen. Last week I realized how unsettled I want to be right now. If a dream job opened up, I'd have no problem selling the rest of my furniture (already sold my couches) and just leaving with whatever I could fit in my car. I realized something, there are 4 concrete things I need in my life. In case of a fire (or tornado, circa yesterday), there are 4 things I'd either save or need to replace. Other than those 4 things (which really aren't things, but are more "groups" of things), I think I'd be cool. Obviously I'd need clothes, which isn't on this list. These are 4 things besides the "obvious necessities" which I classify as necessities:

1) My external hard drive with all my music, pictures, and writings.
2) My snowboards & snowboarding gear
3) My bike and biking gear
4) My passport

Everything else, even my car, bed, tv, cell phone ... I could live without those things. I can rent a furnished place and would have no problem doing so. Other things are desirable, but they wouldn't change my life that much. Ok, maybe my cell phone would, I'd probably need that, I'll admit it. Add cell phone as a 5th item, I'll admit it (finally) .. it's a necessity.

5) cell phone

I need those things to be happy. Everything else is trivial. I am growing to despise relying on owning a car. In Zermatt you can't even have a car. In Breckenridge a car would be worthless. In Vail a car would be worthless. Lots of cities have good train and/or subway systems. There are places I could snowboard or bike in the mountains before work without having to drive to get to such a location. Why don't I live in one of these places?!

Maybe I should just go work for this guy for a couple of years if he'd let me. That'd be fucking incredible. I've been in touch with him, the founder of the company grew up in Iowa and is going on RAGBRAI this year. Maybe I'll talk to him about a job this summer when I meet him. That'd rock!!

Good weekend ahead. Justin is here. Eve will be here soon. Bolder Boulder is Monday. Ahhhhhhh. Pray for good weather!!!

Oh - I put up all the pictures from 2008 I took before my camera broke, that's basically everything since my Steamboat trip in January.

What I am listening to as I type this: Pink Floyd - Have A Cigar

May 20, 2008

Done with homework for this week already, that feels good. I wrote about 6 procedures on Saturday as well as a 3 page paper. Almost done with next week's stuff as well. I like being ahead instead of behind in a class! I realized something weird, while I have about a year left of this program, I truly only have three classes remaining as 6 credits is my thesis. Nice, I also already received my Oracle Database Administration certification, although I won't get the actual piece of paper for several weeks as I didn't realize I had to apply for it.

The weekend was fairly good to me. I got to go to two Rockies games, hang out with a buddy of mine from Carroll who I hadn't seen for probably 5 years, took my bike on a 40 mile ride on Saturday, saw Brian Regan film a new Comedy Central special downtown, got a random $61 check for a Microsoft class-action lawsuit in the mail, and I spent about 2 hours this weekend on my German (that is about 1/2 what I wanted to spend, but I'll take it). The highlight, though, is that I'm now part of a softball team with Cruz and Towns. We practiced on Wednesday and played on Thursday (and play every Thursday from here until mid-August now). I played pretty well while having rust all over me. I made a really nice line-drive catch and turned a double play, both of which felt really good. Looking forward to this week's practice and game! Hopefully I can stay in this loop and continue playing this for awhile.

This week shall be good. I won tickets to the Rockies game tonight through my ski pass (and a pre-game BBQ) so will do that tonight. Tomorrow night is softball practice. Thursday night is softball game. Friday Justin gets here so will go out with him. Tiff is having a BBQ on Saturday. Josh & Heather are having a BBQ on Sunday. Monday is the Bolder Boulder (shooting for 47:02 or faster, got to beat last year's time!). I'd like to do a 40 mile bike ride after the 10K on Monday and possibly start my swimming. I've been saying for awhile I'm going to start swimming so I can do a triathlon, I really need to get on that.

Busy. Busy. Busy.

What I am listening to as I type this: Rammstein - Stein um Stein (Stone by Stone)

May 12, 2008

It was Laetitia Casta's 30th birthday yesterday, happy birthday Laetitia!

One week of class is done, yet I'm done with almost three weeks of work. I kicked ass at homework this weekend. It's supposed to snow tonight, so it'll be easy to stay inside and do homework. Tonight I'm going to try to complete 1/2 of my writing assignments (not due until June) and finish them by the end of the week. Next week I'm going to complete approximately 1/2 of my class project. I'm rocking this thing out. Seriously, who reads half of a 600 page textbook in 6 days? Me, that's who!

So yeah, got that done this weekend. Went grocery shopping last night and made a couple days worth of meals (for the mostpart). Got out on the bike for awhile. Spent about 4 or 5 hours with my interactive German software. Even got some Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock play time in! Also had a night out with the crew in Belmar and down at Don's over by Towns' place.

Solid weekend, my friends. Solid weekend.

New goal, well, somewhat new as I've been doing it for a few weeks now. 8 servings of vegetables/fruits per day, with 4 of those happening by 8am. It's easy to do seeing how a can of V8 counts as 2 servings of vegetables ... just have a good breakfast and you're set! I've got some ridiculous energy going right now. I was out of bed and lifting weights at home by 5:20 this morning and wasn't even tired. I don't know what the hell has gotten into me lately, but I like it! I am getting.shit.done.

Week plans: Finish 1/2 of my school essays by the end of the week. Win trivia tomorrow night at Old C's. Run 12 miles of interval sprints and complete one 7 mile run at a slow pace. Lift weights 3 days after work. Big bike ride this weekend (40 miles). No work for me this Friday, either. It's nice getting ahead of life instead of needing to play catch-up all the time, nice!

What I am listening to as I type this: Rammstein - Amour

May 09, 2008

This has been an uplifting week. I've kicked ass in the gym. I've kicked ass at school. The weather is warming up. My mind is at ease with everything that has been bothering me lately. It is very easy for me to say that I am a ridiculously happy person right now. My drive is stronger than ever. This rocks.

Isn't this just about the coolest thing you've ever seen? I simply cannot believe that my Grandpa passed away over 12 years ago and he made that while living. The resemblance is uncanny. I mean, seriously, just look at those two pictures side-by-side. I'm sure I saw this for years, but when I saw it at Grandma's house over Christmas I just laughed and thought, "That's cool". The more I look at it and compare it to the actual Matterhorn ... it blows me away. It is seriously the most amazing thing ever, considering my insane attraction I have to that country and, even more particularly, that mountain. Amazing. Grandpa was an amazing guy, I wish I had some of his or Grandma's artistic ability, they are incredible. Hell, just in case you aren't going to look at them side by side, I will force you to!

Anyways, yeah, I'm in a good mood today even though I'm wearing a suit!! Tonight I'm going to happy hour in Belmar; tomorrow I want to go for a big bike ride and finish up at least 1/2 of next week's labs. Sunday I will go for a run and finish up the rest of next week's labs, and spend some time on my German stuff. Friends. Outside. Education. Self-Improvement. Exercise. Yeah, those are the ingredients to a successful upcoming weekend. Peace.

What I am listening to as I type this: Michael Jackson - Earth Song

May 07, 2008

This morning I was awakened by thunder and lightning which had about 1/2 second between the two, this was at 4am. As I laid there watching the rain from my open window, it was almost as if one of those lightning bolts jolted my brain. With the house shaking, the rain pouring, and the lightning flashing, it became clear what must happen ... I'm kicking it into high gear for two months. I am ultra motivated this morning, more so than normally, and shit is going to get done. There have been all kinds of "questions" in my mind lately as to what I'm supposed to be doing right now. I now know what I want and I know what I'm going to do. These next two months are key.

I want to finish this Master's degree without it infringing on my personal life: I'm going to get all my work done, besides the final exam, by the end of May for this current class.
I'm finally going to break my 47:03 best 10K time this year at the Bolder Boulder, it's time to get that done. I've gotten that exact time twice, time to beat it.
I'm getting our Oracle 10g conversion and RMAN implementation running at work by July 1 no matter how many stupid fucking distractions keep coming my way here.
I'm going to live in both Breckenridge and Switzerland, working as an Oracle DBA, at some point in my life, one of these by the time I'm 35. I will begin establishing solid relationships in both areas to ensure this, this starts now.
I will get this German language conquered. I will be able to speak it fluently. I swear to you, I will make this happen. May & June will be huge times for this.
I have determined I don't need "stuff". No new stereo. No new car. No buying a house. I don't need that shit. It's worthless to me and will disallow me from meeting those other goals.

This is all going to happen, and I'm going to jump start the hell out of meeting these goals by the time I head out for Minneapolis.

Boom. There's your motivated Bryan Mack back in action, feels good to be back.

What I am listening to as I type this: Metallica - Orion

May 05, 2008

Good weekend, went to the Rockies game on Friday night (even thought it was far from warm!) and hung out downtown for awhile after that. I got my bike out for a 22 mile ride on Saturday, so that felt pretty good. Ended up spray-painting my water bottle cages green yesterday, they're ready to go back on tonight! I still need to buy a green light for my bike and redo the gear cables, then it shall be fully remodeled! Excited for this! The remainder of my weekend was pretty lax. I chilled at home, cleaned up, did a full q-tip using cleaning of Laetitia on the inside (she's all clean now!). I decided I'm going to buy some new headlights for Laetitia and have the carpet inside professionally cleaned. Then I'm going to dare you to find a 240K mile car in more superior condition than she! Honestly after cleaning and vacuuming her yesterday, she looks a billion times better than she has lately, I'm quite proud of this!

A little peeved at my new class already. The entire class requires me to use Internet Explorer. I detest Internet Explorer. Can't use firefox to even view online PowerPoint presentations! I even went so far as to uninstall Internet Explorer on my laptop, so I'll have to go find a windows CD, install IE, then apply all the damn patches. Stupid class. This one is also requiring another annotated bibliography. Ok, seriously here, how do I find 20 articles on PL/SQL programming that are peer-reviewed, review them, and then present this? Furthermore, why is this necessary for a COMPUTER PROGRAMMING CLASS?!! I hate research. And lastly, this new class requires that all interactions be made using an @regis.edu email address. I don't have one. So now I have to drive to campus, set up an email address, and start checking another email address just so I can turn in my assignments. Today is the first day of class. I apologize in advance for the insane amount of complaints you're going to hear from me in the next 8 weeks.

Very busy at work right now ... have lots to say, but no time to say them. Such is life.

What I am listening to as I type this: Limp Bizkit - Trust?

May 01, 2008

So it's May, what's it like in Denver right now? Well, it was in the 80's yesterday and I slept with my bedroom windows open last night so I wouldn't get too hot. So of course, it's snowing like crazy right now. Check out some webcams. This means I absolutely must go to A-Basin at some point this weekend; Vail pass got something like 16" last night. Giggidy!!! I got my new bike helmet last night and was hoping to hop on the bike a little bit, but apparently that's not happening unless this all melts by Sunday (I wouldn't be surprised if this happened).

I present to you my official top 3 favorite moments in Seinfeld history:

3) Every references to the guy they call "Vegetable Lasagna"
2) In the car dealership, when they're discussing candy commercials with swirling chocolate. George says all candy commercials have swirling chocolate, until the senile man replies, "Not skittles!"
1) Kramer falls through Elaine's neighbor's door after getting back his slicer, and with an awesome look on his face, he says, "Boy, that's a lot of potatoes!"

I present to you my official top 2 things I think need to go away from this Earth to make me not want to murder people at work:

2) Cell phones.
1) Printers.

I just wrote about 8 paragraphs going off on these two things, but we'll just leave it at this: I detest these two devices in a work environment. Holy shit I hope we hire a 3rd person in IT so I can pass support duties for these things onto him/her. I would go insane from happiness if I could just go "Office Space" on all these fucking Treo garbage phones and printers in the office.

Lastly, after having my site blocked from search engines for the past year, I've re-enabled that today. We'll see how long it gets before I again get annoyed.